


Don't Walk Away

by demonicdivas (Madelief)



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Lyrium, Lyrium Addiction, Lyrium Withdrawal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-28 01:16:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5072353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madelief/pseuds/demonicdivas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen finds out the Inquisitor is going to take lyrium. </p><p>From a Tumblr prompt - 'Don't walk away from me.' </p><p>Now with beautiful pictures of Cullen and Rhywanon created by the lady who provided the promt - cantkeepmyeyesoff.tumblr.com. A proper link is at the bottom of the story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Walk Away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Orban](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orban/gifts).



> This was in response to a Tumblr prompt for the wonderful Cantkeepmyeyesoff and her Templar Inquisitor Rhywanon Trevelyan.

‘Don’t walk away from me.’ His voice was quiet in the stillness of his office, yet the unmistakable order underlying the words meant Rhywanon had to face him again.

Albeit reluctantly.

How she thought she could come to his tower, drop such a bombshell and then run away again with no explanation, Cullen had no idea. He was intent on finding out, whether she wanted to tell him or not. She owed him that much at least.

‘You didn’t think you could just pretend nothing has happened? That it doesn’t make a difference?’ He gripped his fists tightly to hide the tremors that had just increased a hundredfold at her announcement.

Once he’d told her, he’d never had to since. Now, Cullen felt thrown, unsure of where they both stood.

‘It’s my decision to become a Templar, Cullen. Not yours. You chose to leave the Order. I choose to follow, even if I can’t take vows.’ Azure eyes he once thought he’d be happy to gaze into forever belied the cold, defensive statement she’d just made.

Rhywanon was in as much pain and conflict as he was. It was evident in her tense posture and how she was nervously fiddling with her sword hilt. She was also resolute in her decision, with a look of determination which he recognised all too well.

‘I have never said I disrespected Templars for their choice.’ He started off carefully, not wanting this to descend into a fight. ‘I know you want to help people. But there are many ways to do that without taking – without committing so fully to the Chantry’s doctrines.’

Cullen just couldn’t bring himself to say those fatal words. And she knew it, only just holding onto the vestiges of her control as she remained standing halfway to the door.

‘There is still a threat to Thedas even after we defeat Corypheus. Mages still need protecting. Perhaps even more so, given all the damage our enemy has wrought with his army of magic users. Templars will be needed, more than ever.’ Gone was the coldness in her tone as Rhywanon started to pace, her speech impassioned.

‘I cannot stand by and watch this world crumble once more. I will fight the dangers of magic, for those who wield it and for those who don’t. I can’t see this happen again – the world torn apart, lives shattered, because someone can’t bloody well curb their thirst for power! I do this – I ‘. She broke off, chewing on her lip, confused as to how she could convince him to support her.

‘How do you expect me to stand there and watch you destroy yourself, Rhywanon? I know what it does to you! I know what will happen! Maker’s Breath I sometimes even wonder if I haven’t stopped taking that poison too late! And yet you expect me to stand back and watch the same fate befall you?’

Cullen couldn’t prevent this outpouring of horror from him, his heart twisting at her increasingly tormented expression as each word hammered home.

‘I understand – I do. But this is bigger than both of us, Cullen! I am the Inquisitor! I have a chance to shape this world into a better place, to prevent such an evil from sweeping us into oblivion. If I don’t do this now, then it could just happen, all over again and there would be nothing to prevent it.’ She was torn between approaching him and shying away in her uncertainty.

That she felt she couldn’t come close to him made his headache even worse. There was so much he had wanted to tell her. He’d started to plan a life after the Inquisition – something he’d never thought of before. He’d daydreamed about what they might do together and even how they could grow old together.

Cullen realised at that moment he was falling in love with her. He’d allowed himself to dream the impossible, and this was the result.

‘So what does this mean? For us?’ It wasn’t a question he could avoid.

Rhywanon swallowed, her hand now gripping her sword hilt as her distress began to visibly show. ‘That rather depends on you, doesn’t it? I do not want things to end between you and I. I –‘.

She gave an unsteady sigh before continuing on. ‘I want to be with you. I believe we can make this work. And I know how hard this must be for you to accept. But I cannot do anything less than see this through. I – if you do not want to be together any more then I will have to accept it somehow.’

If it was possible for his day to get any worse, he wasn’t sure how. He was in a rock and a hard place and the truth of why her decision was so abhorrent to him Cullen still hadn’t been able to voice. For she had not seen him at his worst from the withdrawal, not by a long margin. She hadn’t yet seen what happened when the nightmares claimed his mind and the agony racked his body.

Even if he told her, there was no changing her mind. Rhywanon was set on this path and, Maker take it, he understood her reasoning.

That didn’t make it any easier for him to deal with.

‘You believe this can work between us? As it happens, so do I. Or I did. You’re asking for me to watch you one day lose your mind – lose all the precious memories we already have together, and all the ones still to come. You’re asking me to watch you die younger than you should, to watch the woman I – I – you could turn into what I have been through! Don’t you think I would save you from all of this?‘

Now was not the time for that particular declaration.

Cullen was fighting to not start shouting, to rage at the injustice of it all. He couldn’t face losing her, not to the ever-present danger their enemy posed to them, and certainly not to the corruption that was lyrium.

Her next words deflated every single argument he had.

‘I’m doing this for our future, Cullen. So that we can have that time together.’ Her lilting voice cut through how frightened and anxious he was, settling in a place deep in his heart. ‘If there is one thing that the Inquisition has taught me, it’s that life is too short to worry about the ‘what ifs’. We take our happiness now, while we can.’

The lip Rhywanon had nearly bitten through then joined the other in a tremulous smile. ‘And I have discovered that my happiness is to be found with you.’

Her smile had captivated him from the moment he’d seen it in Haven’s operations room when they’d first met. It still had the power to bring him to his knees, particularly when she was trying to hide her own devastation that they might no longer be together – just as she was right now.

Cullen couldn’t bear it as he strode towards her and enfolded her in his arms, his embrace almost crushing her. He would have been worried, except she was clinging to him as tightly as he was. The light fragrance that was unique to Rhywanon teased his senses as he buried his head into her shoulder. He needed to feel the closeness that they shared, fighting to banish the demons that were clambering for space in his brain.

‘Andraste save me, Cullen, why didn’t you say something?’ she whispered in anguish, feeling just how bad the shaking had become.

‘I – you – you seemed so distant, so far away,’ he stammered, not wanting to scare her. ‘It will pass. It always does.’

She remained unconvinced but she didn’t press him further, instead relaxing into his body as her fingers teased the hair on his neck.

‘You are brave, Inquisitor, to tread the road you have chosen. It will be hard for me at times, but I will always support you as best I can.’ Despite his misgivings, he wanted to reassure her that he would still be there.

‘Thank you, Commander. You – this – when did I find it so difficult to speak?’ She grimaced in irritation at herself before she gave up, smiling ruefully up at him.

He managed to smile back, entranced by the blush staining her cheeks as she too stumbled over her words. ‘Why don’t you try again? I’m not going anywhere.’

‘I’m glad,’ Rhywanon replied softly, her hand still doing magical things on his neck, steadily taking his headache away. ‘We have something special, you and I. And I can’t wait to find out more about it, together.’

There were no words that would show her what she meant to him. All his emotions poured forth through the kiss he gave her instead – the love, the fear, the terror and the joy. He was almost desperate for her to know that, no matter what, he would wait for her.

For he would. What other choice did he have? Rhywanon was right. He either took this chance or forever let life pass him by.

A future without her was not one Cullen was prepared to contemplate.

<http://cantkeepmyeyesoff.tumblr.com/post/131891895758/hello-sweetie>


End file.
